I've known for a while that I was going to have to have back surgery, what I didn't know was that I was going to recover while lying flat on my back - no sitting up.
I have missed Willy so much, I am thankful that my family and friends have been with me round the clock because otherwise I couldn't stand being in this house without my little boy.
Tomorrow will be a month since he died, I can't believe he's been gone that long, and yet, at the same time, it seems like forever. (it's been longer now, but I started this post on July 20th)
I've had a hard time trying to decide whether or not to get another cat. I know there will never be a replacement for Willy, and I don't want a *replacement*. I know my little boy wouldn't want me to be sad, he was always so in tune with me when something was wrong, either physically, or if I was upset. Finally, it may sound silly, but I feel like Willy had a paw in picking out the new addition to our family. For the last couple of weeks of his life, when I would take Willy to the vet, there was a cage with five kittens for adoption. I was immediately drawn to one of them, but Willy needed all of my focus. He was the most important to me.
Then there were 4, then 3, then 2 - and she was still available. I walked away every time.
Then, Willy died. My heart was so raw that I couldn't even think of adopting another cat. Two weeks went by. My surgery date was drawing near, and my emotions were running high. Bless Chris, he put up with the rollercoaster ride I was on, and he just loved me through the tears. We talked a lot about to adopt or not to adopt and when to adopt.
If I was going to adopt, I'd need to do it the very next day, a Saturday, it'd be the only chance I got to get out and find a kitten before my surgery. I went back and forth with myself, the argument yes or no. I finally decided no, that it just wasn't the right timing. I didn't want to rush and just pick out any kitten even though I'd been checking out all of the local shelter websites. Chris would have to worry about taking care of a new kitten while I was in the hospital and he was worried about me. I would be away during what I thought would be some crucial bonding time.
I had to take Willy's sharps container with his used insulin syringes back to the vet's office for disposal. I had some unused cans of prescription cat food that I wanted to return, along with a few other unused items. So, instead of going out to find a kitten, I gathered up my courage and headed to the vet's office to return the stuff. I told Chris when I left the house that if that kitten was still there, then I was bringing her home. He said good.
I walked in the vet's office and was immediately deflated, the cage was gone. The vet saw me from the back and came out right away to hug me and ask how I was doing. Of course, I broke down right there, and all of the other girls hugged me. I turned and was walking out the door and I stopped and turned around and asked if all of the kittens were adopted out. The answer was no, they were in the back, because they'd caught a nasty case of coccidia and they were being treated. I asked if the one I was interested was still available, and the answer was yes. They brought her out to see me, and I fell in love. I told them that I'd like to adopt her as long as she was going to be able to recover, because in my state, there was no way that I could care for a sick cat and I couldn't have my heart broken again. The vet assured me it was a common condition and she would recover.
We made arrangements, she should be recovered and ready to come home when I got home from the hospital. Her case proved to be a little difficult, she and the others infected were having a tough go of it. She was finally adoption ready yesterday after being spayed on Monday.
I still can't drive, so Chris went before work and brought her home! I'm so excited. I know she is thrilled to be out of her e-collar, and out of the cage she's been living in for a couple of months, and am thrilled that she's here.
She's been a little skittish, but other than that, she's adapted really quickly. It's nice to have life in the house again. I want to go back and say that for my own silly reasons, I think Willy had a paw in helping pick her out, is because they were in the same place, at the same time, on several occasions - and that he passed the torch to her, along with instructions to take care of his Mama. Like I said, silly, but that thought helps me get through the betrayal and guilt feelings I've been battling.
So, here she is, meet Gabby. She is a dilute calico and is just adorable. This is her, in action, playing with the mouse Willy left for her. I'm sure this blog will see many pictures of Gabby in the future, but I posted this one so you can see her markings and her playfulness all in one photo. I got lucky and caught her throwing the mouse in the air.
Welcome to the family Gabby, we already love you.
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